Moan, moan, moan…it’s that odious "Luxx" magazine in my Saturday Times again, groans Mrs. M.  The silliness of it almost spoils the joy of the Saturday papers.  Just when nobody has any cash, and the oligarchs have gone home, we have to endure this "tripe" through our mail slots.

Ho, hum…the rag opens with double page spreads of champagne, Dior and Tag Heuger followed by pictures of the young "concept" team who must have dreamed this rubbish up.  The question is how did they sell such a silly idea to their editors?  The mind boggles.

If there was ever an example of marketing tactics created for a previous era or inappropriate reading of the public mood, this must be a champion.  I bet the team think that the art boom is still on, that bonuses should still be paid, and that when people are broke they buy luxury.  Dream on, people of Krypton!  I wonder if these wunderkind realize that the only stock to have held its market value in the credit crunch is Wal-Mart?

It is of the same ilk of the new Westfield shopping-and-eating mall in Shepherd’s Bush.  The developers actually boasted of spending £17 billion on ‘retail as leisure activity.’  There are 49 restaurants in a soulless shopping mall, where no one in his right mind would want to eat.

The editor of Luxx states, "In times like these, making informed choices is more important than ever…" As if he’s trying to help us find bargains, like the £10,500 lifesize toy jumbo elephant shown on page 12.  Bargain hunters will be limited to one each!