We in France are very lucky, Writes Clouseau le Chien we do not have anysing zat even remotely ressembles Australia. In fact we do not even have a former colony zat is still... 

...ruled by Européens. How about Québec? I hear you ask. But ze Québeqois are a beleagured minorité, and are anyway not nearly as énnervant as the Australiens.

I now see zat zere is a piece on ze BBC news about Australiens and how zey have "sour grapes" over ze British medal tally.

In France zer is not word for "chip". I do not mean chip as in frïte, or French fries or, Mon Dieu, "freedom" fries. Non non non. I mean as in chip on the shoulder; but then this is because we have no Australia.

Az you can see from ze above linked piece on ze BBC, there seems to be a certain frisson on behalf of ze British peopol that they are beating ze Australiens. For once. As I write "Team GB" has one more medal zan Australia. Will zat be the case at the and of ze games?

One wonders who has ze greatest chip. The Australiens or ze Rosbif? Please do not get me wrong, I understand the pleasure of beating a country whose entire raisons d'etre is sports (and the ocasional nuclear protest.) As for la France, n'en parlons même pas.

Eau, and another point. Victoria Pendleton, I would like to go walkies with her (in ze woods.)